i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
