Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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