I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize