I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
