you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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