now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i was born a porn star she said
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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