So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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