He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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