I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
