he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
