you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Boobs speak an international language.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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