even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
