Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
420 ftw
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Randomize
