do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
