The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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