NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
