she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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