Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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