i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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