I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Enjoy the penises
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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