you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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