margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
