Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
