Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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