i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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