i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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