I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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