There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
