I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
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