then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
