my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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