I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
