She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
