He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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