My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
