dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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