I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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