My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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