Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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