If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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