My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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