Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize