btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
