So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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