Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
