just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
