I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
