So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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