I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
