There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
