I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
