Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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