Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
