If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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